Frogs Baptism

Frog was baptized December 7th. It was a very nice service and it was a joyous occasion. However, it left us a little sad. I'm not going to go into detail but... we were disappointed and a bit saddened. And we had a huge reflection on family. Brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers. The relationships that we build and the relationships that we choose not to . And how that will effect my family. (sigh)

Happy Thanksgiving!

RIP T.R.L

Beyoncé - TRL - MTV Shows

There Will Be a Day!

I've been annoyed by the stereotypes of Christians. There are those that use Christ-name but are poor representatives of what Christianity is. Because I'm a Christian doesn't mean that I'm a "good" person. Because I'm not a good person, I need Christ in my life. Since I am not a perfect person, I am not in any position to judge others all I want to do is "love God with all my heart , soul and mind" and to "love my neighbors as" myself. What God has done for me is give me hope that any pain or suffering in this world will end one day. I found this song by Jeremy Camp, "There will be a day". I really love it. With all the bad things happening in this world and in our personal lives that just doesn't seem fair...

Security

So, I decided to have blog nicknames for my kids. I've been watching a lot of CNN and I decided that I should not use my kids names in my blog. So if you see the side bar of my blog, I posted pictures of my kids and their nicknames. E is bunny, Ja is a Lamb, Jo is a puppy , and Ca is a frog. I don't know I just feel it would be better to do this since I don't who is lurking about.

SNEAKY... SNEAKY

My kids got a lot of candy from trick or treating. It was annoying how constantly they would ask for candy. I'd say every time that they could only have 1 candy a day and they were to have absolutely no sticky candy. So a couple days went by and I noticed that in our powder room in the corner behind the sink were all these candy wrappers. I assumed that it was Hub's nieces that came to spend the day with us. They brought bookbag filled with candy. We'd catch them in the corner sucking on lollipops. We confiscated the bag. I asked Bunny and Lamb if they were sneaking candy. "no, mommy!" they'd answer. I didn't even think that they'd lie to me. Then the next night I noticed two reese's peanutbutter cup wrappers in my sink. hmmmmmmmmmmm! I called both Bunny and Lamb to come to me. They both run in and I asked, "who ate candy." They both said they didn't do it. Then the interrogation began. I really thought that Lamb did it but Bunny wouldn't make eye contact and then I pressed her harder. After 10 minutes, she broke down and admitted it. Then she blamed Lamb for making her eat it. I asked about the candy in the bathroom and it was both Lamb and Bunny. I couldn't believe that my Bunny did it. She is my good one. I then tell her how she broke my heart because she lied to me and that she can't disobey me like that. yada yada. I had a hard time with it all. I don't know why I took all the deception so personally. It really hurt.

Then the next day, Bunny comes home from school. She came to me and was sitting on my lap. I'd ask her how her day was. Then when Lamb came in, she abruptly got up and left. As I was chatting with Lamb, I notice Bunny emerging from her room. That was funny... she usually goes straight to the kitchen for an after school snack. I go, "Bunny, what were you doing?" she quickly answered, "nothing." "WERE YOU SNEAKING CANDY, AGAIN!!!" "no, mommy, no." then Hubs comes in and says, "let me smell your mouth." Bunny screams, "no!" and then tried to run away. But Hubs grabbed her and he was trying to smell her mouth. She was turning her head side to side so that hubs couldn't get a whiff of her mouth and she's shouting,"I want to brush my teeth, I want to brush my teeth." Then I yelled, " you at candy, didn't you!" She broked down crying, "yes, mommy, I'm sorry mommy." I told her to take me to the stash of candy. She went in to her room and deep in the closet in the corner was all this candy and so many wrappers. I was so angry. I disciplined both Bunny and Lamb. I know that Lamb was the first one and Bunny followed her.

I was really sad for the following few days. I have to be on my guard. I didn't think I had to hide their candy. i thought that even if the bag of candy was with in their reach, I thought they could resist temptation. What was I thinking? I can't even resist it.

I pray that I was wise about the way I disciplined them. I don't want to be too harsh but I don't want to be too lax. I realize that I need to pray more. Pray more for my kids and especially for wisdom. It's scary that I'm raising 4 children.

Vote for Obama says a Kindergartner!

Bunny came home and out of the blue asks her daddy,"do you know , Obama?" My hubs just stops in his tracks and looks at Bunny blankly... How does she know Obama? He then answers, "Um yes, I know of him, why?" She answers "my friend Joey says that I have to vote for Obama because he's the best." hahahahaha We couldn't stop laughing. A fellow kindergarten classmate is endorsing Obama. hahahah My hubs says that he's undecided and that he might vote for the other guy and I chime in, " I'm voting for Obama, Bunny." Then she looks at me and screams, " ME TOO! I'M VOTING FOR OBAMA!" So funny...

100 DAY

Frog turned 100 day. I remember this is when it starts getting easier... but it is still tough...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Scary Oompa Loompas

Bunny told me that her teacher at school was reading "charlie and the chocolate factory". I own , Willy Wonka's Charlie and the chocolate factory movie, and told the kids we'd watch it tonight together. It was one of my favorites. My kids watched the movie straight through with many questions through out. I soon realized that they were missing the essence of the movie. As I was putting them down to bed, Lamb starts crying and tells me that those oompas were really scary. It took her a bit to go to sleep. Bunny was telling her she was silly but now 11:30 pm , she is still awake. She's watching the Phillies game with daddy. She snuck in a "mommy, those oompas were a little bit scary!", before she went down to watch the game. AH! She can't go to sleep b/c she's afraid of the oompas. I should have used better judgment... I think I was scared of them once.

I Can Spell!

These days, Bunny loves to spell things. She'll randomly call out words and spell. She runs to me and says, mommy, I can spell CVS (hubs works for CVS/Pharmacy)! Okay, spell it.. She goes"... uhm... C..........V........Ssssssssssssssssssss! right, right?" hahahah so funny!

UPDATE!

The girls started soccer. It's Lamb's very first year and she likes it. She's not very aggressive and she'll just stand in the field waving at us on the sidelines. At least she looks very cute. It's Bunny's second year and she bumped up from peewee to the under 7 league. Her teams has mostly freshly turned 7 year olds and they're very good. Bunny is learning a lot. She is such a clown out there. She's not yet competitive and she'll just try to make her teammates laugh. I think I'm more competitive then her. At the last game, they were playing a younger team (seems to have more 5 and freshly turned 6 yearsold) and Bunny's team was scoring frequently. When the score became 6 to zero, they played 3 on 7. And her team was still able to keep scoring. Hubs shouted, " let them score." and I shot him a look saying, "why?!" He says I'm brutal. I know, I don't know where this competitive edge comes from.
This is Puppy after being so good for 2 1/2 hours on the field. He had a bit of meltdown at the last 1/2 hour of Bunny's game. He kept wanting to go out on the field and kick the ball, too. Poor kid.

Puppy constantly wants to go outside. He'll cry whenever anyone leaves the house without him. He's always pointing outside and he'll follow me around the house carrying his shoes. Now that the weather has cooled down tremendously, I've been trying to take him out for walks. I've starte Little Gym classes for him and he likes it. He's favorite part is when all different size balls comes out and he can shout the hoops. He can already take a baseball sized ball and throw it across the room in the air. He loves to play catch. He'll throw the ball at me and I'll catch it and roll it back to him and he'll catch it and throw it back to me. We'd go back and forth and he loves it. He seems to love sports. He'll carry the plastic bat we have at home and a ball and try to hit it. He loves Bunny's tennis racket but he hits Lamb with it a lot.If he's not whining about going outside, he'll be hanging on our freezer door. He's always wanting a freezer pop (joojoo ba). I've been so consumed with Frog that I've been just giving him freezer pops to keep him quiet. And that tends to be every 2 hours in a day. Now that Frog doesn't need to be fed as often, I'm trying to break Puppy's addiction to these freezer pops. It's been hard because he's so stubborn and he lets out constant shrilly screams. We've stopped getting them because I'm not able to resist his desperate cries.
Frog is now 2 months and she's smiling and cooing. She seems to be mild mannered except when she's hungry. Also, the last couple of days she got her very first cold and she was so congested she did not like sleeping in the bassinet. She slept mostly in her swing and slept with me at night. She goes to bed around 10 and wakes up at 2 , 4 and 6- 7 in the mornings. So I am so tired during the day. I started work 2 weeks ago so I've been falling asleep on the job. I've been drinking coffee and it's probably upsetting Frog but I don't know what else to do to keep myself from sleeping on the job.

First Day!

My first born started full day kindergarten today. I thought I'd be more anxious but I was a little nervous but I kept my cool. Bunny was so excited. We went and visited her classroom and her teacher, yesterday. It was her first time riding a big yellow school bus and she wasn't scared of it. I didn't think there were that many kids attending public school. All the ones I knew that were the same age as Bunny were attending either private or Catholic school. So I was pleasantly surprised when we met another Kindergartner at the bus stop. He was this sweet talkative boy named Curtis. I'm so glad that Bunny is so social. They became fast friends. All the parents and children were very friendly and we were all chatting it up at the bus stop. It was really nice. I always thought our neighborhood was unfriendly because everyone keeps to themselves.

Bunny came home all happy and a bit tired. She talked non-stop about her day. She really enjoyed Kindergarten. I am so happy. I couldn't ask for more. Lamb was a bit distraught though. She really missed her playmate, Bunny. She ran up the stairs overjoyed screaming, " Bunny, Bunny's here!! YAY!" I was upstairs and was a bit puzzled because it was only 11:30 am. I told Lamb that Bunny wasn't home and won't be home until 3:50. And then she goes with a sad face," But I heard Bunny's voice." Poor kid... she's so sad, she's hearing voices.

Today, is also my birthday. I've been preoccupied with kids, and getting Bunny ready for school, I completely forgot about my birthday. The girls hugged me in the morning and wished me a happy birthday and then off I was to get Bunny ready for her first day of school.

All evening, Bunny kept mentioning she had a birthday surprise for me. "mommy, are you ready for your surprise... I have to give it to you when you are sleeping..." "it's a great surprise, mommy, you'll be so surprised... mommy, I am excited to give you your birthday surprise" Okay, okay, I said. But went about my business, not thinking much of it. I got the girls ready for bed, read them a story and prayed with them. I tucked them in and left. I was on my bed and nursing Frog when Bunny jumps into the room and screams ,"SURRRRPRRRRRRRIIIIIIISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY! HAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" She actually did startle me because I thought they were sleeping. Then I go, " oh, is this my birthday surprise?" She nods her head and goes, "Did you like your birthday surprise, mommy?" "yes, I did!" I thought how clever of her to think of this and to be patient enough to pull it off. She gave me a good laugh. hahahhaah

Call me Unni!

Koreans have this showing respect thing where older siblings have a title. Like if you are a girl, you'd call your older sister, " Unni" and older brother, "oppae". If you are a boy, you'd call your older sister "noona" and older brother," hyung". My parents did not instill this korean etiquette with me and my siblings. I actually force it upon my 12 year younger brother. I felt that I was so much older than him that I warrant this respect. My other younger brother by 2 years does not call me noona. I'm okay with it especially while growing up he always acted like an older brother to me.

Hubs and I don't make our children call their older siblings by the respective titles. We are not very "Koreanized". I think it's because I was born and raised here and hubs is adopted to a Caucasian family. However, we attend a Church where it's dominantly korean-american. I overheard my two oldest daughters playing. Bunny turns to Lamb and says, " j, call me Unni!" Lamb says okay. And she was saying, " happy birthday, Unni!" "Go to sleep, Unni." And then it turned in to, "hi, onion... go to sleep, onion... where's your home, onion and then Bunny turns and says, " NO, J, NOT ONION... UNNI!!" The way they say Unni too is so funny because it said with such an american tongue.

It made me chuckle.

Sonic ,where art thou?

Every time I see a Sonic commercial, my mouth starts watering. I don't quite understand what the people in the car are griping about but the frozen treats that are in their hand always looks so appetizing. They commercialize the treat of the day and it looks so good. A couple years ago, I even tried to locate the nearest Sonic and there were no Sonic near me but today, the nearest one is in Limerick about 50 minute away. Is Dairy queen blizzards just as good? Or do these frozen desserts look especially good because I know I can't easily get a hold of one? I am tempted to drive out there and try it out. I should be dieting, though. Man, they should be banned from televising their commercial nationally.

Crazy

Frog reached 1 month and we are slowly trying to get back to life. After a month of just taking care of Frog, I had to take care of all 4 children while hubs went to work. Thank goodness that Bunny and Lamb play well together. Puppy is another story. He is still a baby and very needy. Having four children who are s0 close in age is CRAZY. It is very tough. I know as Frog gets bigger it'll get easier.

Funny story:

Hubs went down to the beach with 3 kids. As he sat watching the ocean with Lamb and Puppy sleeping in his arms, Bunny comes running to him. She had to go to the bathroom. I usually take her to the near by bathrooms but I was not there. So Bill whispers to her, "just go in the ocean." So she runs to the water, pulls down her bikini bottom and squats. All hubs sees is this bright white butt cheeks and he starts screaming her name. He drops both kids and runs to Bunny. He then told her how to go to the bathroom in the ocean. "You splash around and do it secretly in the water. " hahaha She mooned the whole beach. hahahaha

Faith and Hope

Drug-free Childbirth

I must document my very first drug-free natural birth before the experience leaves me. I had volunteered willingly to receiving an epidural during all my previous child births and never considered going all natural. However the last time I gave birth, I had a very bad experience with the epidural. The bee sting like prick wasn't so bee sting like and icy cold liquid constantly flowed down my spine and my back ached and then my blood pressure dropped and I was nauseas and throwing up. Then for the days following I had these phantom pains in my back. I comforted myself saying that I would not have to go through that again. Then I got pregnant AGAIN. As I approached my due date, I was asking around other mothers and many of them did not receive the epidural, they went all natural. After talking to these women, I felt like "you know, I can do that too..." I thought I'll go as far as I can and if it's unbearable, I'll ask for Nubain (to take the edge off) and if that didn't work I'll go with the epidural.

I was so use to being bed ridden from the beginning b/c once you receive the epidural you are tied to your bed. I was able to walk around or sit in the rocking chair. I didn't have an iv in me so I was free to toss and turn in bed. Then the contractions were getting more intense and longer and after they broke my water. The pain was intense. Hubs was an awesome coach, he helped me blow through each contraction. I was able to squeeze his hand, arm, leg, stomach, and face when I needed to transfer my tension from each contraction. And once I reached 7 cm, I started screaming, give me the drugs. Then I heard the nurse say... "sorry , it's too late!" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now it was constant pain... knives twisting and turning in my stomach. I screamed, I cried... in midst of my arms flailing , I slapped Hubs a couple times. I was trying to pull and push anything I could. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I kept saying how stupid I was for not going with the epidural. Stupid... Stupid... Oh, and the pushing was excruciating. Thank goodness that part was short but OMG... the pain. Then once the baby is out... nothing. No pain.... Contractions stop and I see this beautiful beautiful baby. But one split second of a split second, I was angry at her... that she inflicted this enormous pain but then it melted away to love... Weird how your emotions are such a roller coaster. It was work... a lot of work. I was left with a sense of accomplishment. I guess, the feeling you'd feel running a marathon. Painful during but once you reach the finish line, you feel so great.

In retrospect... It was worth it of course but I don't know if I'd do it again. I would go with the epidural and consider it a blessing from God that it's available. Well, there will never be a next time. People were saying that I look the best after labor with this one which is weird because I felt like I got run over by a truck.

Recovery has been going well so far. I've been able to just relax with Frog but our household is a bit crazy. Also, my church has been a great great help, too. They are bringing over food and offering babysitting. I feel so blessed. Also, Hubs family has been a great help as well. They took Em, Ja, and Jon to the shore for a couple of days.

Frog had to be readmitted to the hospital because she had sever jaundice. She went under photo therapy for 24 hours. She's all better now. It was so cute... it looked like she was tanning in a tanning bed. They even gave her these shades to cover her eyes.

Now just hoping for a fast recovery for me...

FROG

FROG

July 22 nd at 2:15pm
7 lbs 14 oz
20 1/2 inches long

Oldest Sister

We decided to get a triple tandem stoller made by Joovy. It's a 2 seater stroller and a toddler can sit or stand in the back. Having a newborn on her way and Puppy only being 14 months, I knew I had to get a double stroller but then Lamb who is 3 doesn't like walking much. We have a sit and stand stroller that we used often. I got it when Lamb turned 1 and Bunny loved standing and sitting in the back. When Puppy came, both Bunny and Lamb would squeeze in the back of the sitnstand stroller. We got this triple stroller and it is huge. It's extremely long. Hubs was making all these wisecracks about it. The kids were excited as Daddy put it together. They would point to the first seat and they would ask who would sit there. I'd answer, Frog. and then they would ask who sits in the second sit, and I'd say, Puppy. And then who stands in the back and I answer lamb. While they were asking the questions, I'm watching hubs work on the stroller. All of sudden, I hear Bunny slamming things. I hear hubs ask Bunny why she's so upset and then I saw her, she had tears in her eyes. As she said, " I have no where to sit... there's no room for me. ahhhhhhhh!", big tears start falling down her face and then she ran upstairs. It wasn't the first time that she was upset because she was so sensitive. I've been worried so much about Puppy how he would adapt to having a baby. I felt Lamb would be okay because she had Bunny but I realized that Bunny might have a hard time. In my eyes, she's no longer a baby but she still wants to be a baby. She had a phase where she'd do baby talk. It was a bit annoying and I'd correct her every time she did it. I think I need to arrange some mommy and Bunny time after the new baby arrives.

Shot thru the Ear

Lamb got her ears pierced today. We went to the mall to walk around to bring on labor and I know that Lamb's been asking about getting her ears pierced and I asked her if she wanted to get her ears pierced today. Her eyes got big and she said, "oh, yes! I want ears pierce." So off we went. She was getting her ears pierced at the very same place I got my ears pierce over 20 years ago. Of course when she was looking at the earrings, she picks out the very big diamond studs. She's so funny. We picked out white gold studs as her very first pair. She was so good. She didn't cry. She got both lobes pierced at the same time. She was in shock at first . She just sat there and didn't say a word. They quickly gave her a lollipop and I lifted her and I asked her if it hurt. She said it didn't hurt at all. Then I turned to Bunny asked her if she wanted to get her ears pierced she said an adamant and resounding NO!. Bunny is too scared even after Lamb was happy as can be afterward. Oh, well. I know in time, she'll get the courage to get it done.

Still Waiting

So my 38th week came and is going, with no signs of active labor. My body loves to tease though. I'll start cramping and have a few contractions but then after a few hours they wean away. It's so hard this waiting part. I am trying really hard to take this time to reflect and spend time in prayer. I finally feel that I'm in this place of peace and I'm afraid it might be the calm before the storm. How will my spirits hold up in the storm? I can't worry about tomorrow... I shouldn't worry about tomorrow. I need to trust God.

Trusting the Lord is the very thing that I have trouble doing. How do I calm my anxious heart? I have revealed this secret and it is so hard to discipline myself to do. But I have found hope...

Please pray that my labor will be fast and swift and our little girl is healthy...

Uncomfortable and Waiting

I think I've been really good in this waiting for the baby thing. I went for my check up and I'm moving along with being 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced but I can be like that for the next couple of weeks. Last Monday night, I couldn't sleep because I had really painful contractions that were so irregular and I was just waiting for them to develop in to a rhythm. But after 3 hours from 1 to 4 in the morning, I finally was able to get some rest. I really thought I was in labor but of course after 3 babies, I finally know what false labor feels like. Now, only here and there, I'll have some contractions. It's like my body is teasing me. I just have to try and bear through it even though I'm increasingly getting more uncomfortable and in a bit of pain down there. I feel bad because J.D. is still such a baby. He wants to be held and he really needs the comfort of an adult. He can't play on his own. He wants me or hubs sitting with him watching him play. The moment we get up and walk away, he breaks down in to tears. I hope it's phase because when the fourth comes a long, I got no choice but to walk away.

Other news:

Bunny loves playing games but she doesn't like losing. We were playing memory and she won the first 2 games and then the 3rd Lamb actually won and Bunny broke down in to tears. I told her that if she was going to be a sore loser no one will want to play with her and then she cries harder. "but I want to win... i don't like losing. " I say sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose. I said you don't want to be a bad loser. I told her she should always congratulate the loser and mean it. So she half turns to Lamb and mumbles.. "congratulations, Lamb. I'm glad you won. " and then Lamb turns and she goes, " ha-ha, I won and you LOST... hahahah!" and then Bunny looks at me and then she runs up to her room crying.

So today, me and Bunny play this game Trouble. Bunny actually beat me the first round and in this game if you land on your opponets peg, you send them back to the start. She kept landing on me and she actually felt bad. I told her that it's part of the game and that I'm acting sad but I'm really not. She's so cute. After she won the first game, she wanted to play another game so she goes, " mommy, let's play again and I'll let you win and I won't cry this time. " She's so funny.

Nesting

So I got back from my trip and I had a 4 more days of vacation, I decided that I need to organize the whole house and get ready for our new baby. I had this surge of energy and I was tearing up my home. I was throwing things junk away and organizing closets. I got the baby girl clothes out of storage and I was doing laundry like a mad woman. Hubs was not really in to the cleaning and organizing mood as I was. He was a bit of a sourpuss when I asked him to move furniture into and out of rooms. All I knew is that I needed it to be done all in those 4 days. I am glad to say that I got pretty much most of the stuff done but as I was going through the days and I felt like such a burden... I turned a bit sad and anxious.

This time with 3 kids and a new baby, my mother will not be helping me out this time. With every child, she was here with us and she was such a huge help to me. She cooked, cleaned and was just a helping hand. There is something about giving birth that you want to be with your mother. I know Hubs will do all in his power to take care of me but I know that he'll have a bit of a hard time with the 3 kids as it is. Also, financially, we are really tight so paying for extra help is not an option for us. Anxiousness of not knowing if we can handle the stress... Then I sit in prayer and I feel this sense of comfort. That moment of sadness and anxiousness faded and I am comforted in knowing that God is sovereign and I will get through it . It may be messy at times but we will get through it.

I just need to do my part. Prepare for the baby and get my house in order. Also, this time around... I will let labor come and not be to obsessed with it . We'll see how I do with that.

Can't forget with Puppy.

I asked my doctor to induce me on my due date. She insisted that unless I have a medical condition , I should wait at least a week after my due date for induction but she said she'll put me on the list. I don't think she thought they'd call me but they did. As I lay in the hospital bed, my md comes in and looks at my chart and then she asks me, " so what is the reason for this induction?" I was so thrown off by the question but I was able to muster out, " Umm... because I want this baby out of me!" As I said that I felt so selfish. Funny... how I wanted to be in control. I hope that my change in attitude is due to my spiritual growth.

Navy Wedding.

Congratulations A & C !

We went down to VA Beach to attend Hub's nephew's wedding this past weekend. I was uncomfortable but the baby kept nicely inside. I survived it and Hub's did too. The ride down was very long. It took us 6 hours. Our first stop was suppose to be a short McDonald's pick up and restroom stop. Hub's forgot Lamb's shoes so he had to hold her and take her to the potty. We had to take shifts and then after 30 minutes at micky Ds, off we went. We went only for 1 minute and Lamb's shouting out poo-pee. So luckily we past a nice rest area and hubs went to take her. After another 30 minutes, we were off. Luckily we choose to buy a portable dvd player for the girls to watch. However, Puppy was so unhappy. He kept pointing to his seat belt and with these puppy dog eyes , he looked at me as if to say "let me out, let me out". The rehearsal dinner was at 4 pm and at 3:30 pm, it looked very grim. We were going to be late. While Hubs was on the phone with his nephew to let him know that we'd be late, we got pulled over for speeding. It didn't seem like we were going that fast but what can you do? We traveled on Route 13 and it was a long road that went through towns. There were no formal rest areas and it was so hard to wait for rest areas. I ended up going to Mcdonalds and a walmart. I always feel bad using the restrooms with out purchasing anything but I'm 9 months pregnant, what could they say. But at the last stretch... there was no where to go pee and then we were entering the chesapeake bridge and that bridge is long. I ended up peeing in a bucket in our car. I had to go sooo bad.

We got there and we went straight to the rehearsal. Family was all there except those not participating in the wedding. It was going to be an outdoor ceremony overlooking the Bay. It is beautiful. The kids were so excited. Bunny was especially excited to go swimming but we didn't have time that day. She woke up the next day talking about going swimming. We hurriedly got ready and off to the pool we went. The kids swam around. PUPPY. was afraid at first and wrapped himself to me. Then later he loosened up and he had a blast. It made me think that I definitely want a pool in our next home. It was nice walking around in the pool. I felt so light and no pressure.

The wedding was really nice and beautiful. Hub's nephew and his wife are such a beautiful couple. The girls did a great job walking down the aisle and Lamb was loving the dressing up and attending the wedding. She kept saying that she was going to her wedding. Bunny was particularly most interested in dancing on the dance floor. Once the music tempo went up, she asked if she could go dance. No one was on the dance floor and I just said wouldn't want to wait until someone goes up first... She replied"no, and that she really really wanted to dance." I said fine and after her dancing for 5 minutes, her aunt Jayne went and joined her and then her cousins. She didn't stop to take a break... she dance all night. Hmm... she is a lot like her mommy. I really wanted to dance but I really couldn't stand on my feet. I still enjoyed watching everyone.

It's my MIL's first grandson to get married and it was an emotional affair. As the groom's mother danced with the groom, my MIL and SIL all looked on with tears in their eyes. It was sweet to see and as the dance came to an end they rushed in on the couple and gave a huge group hug. It was such a sweet sweet sight.

We had a fun time. So much fun that we stayed an extra day to hang out at the pool and beach again. The kids really really enjoyed themselves.

Boy's First Hair Cut

BEFORE

AFTER

Last Saturday, PUPPY got his very first haircut at a kid's hair cuttery. They had little cars, animals, and motorcycles for kids to sit in while they cut their hair. It's a really cute place. I'm glad I found it. However, the little boy did not enjoy the experience. We put him in the police car and he's jiggling the steering wheel until he sees the woman coming at him. He lunged for me and the woman was very experienced. She asked me to hold him in the salon chair. I'm holding on to him and while he's squirming and wailing in my arms, she was able to give my son a nice crew cut. He looks so refreshed with the haircut. Hopefully, next time won't be such an ordeal.

The woman asked me if I wanted to have a piece of his hair, I quickly responded no. and she looked at me in a shocking way, "You, don't want his hair!?" "oh, yes, please..." I responded. I didn't want her to think I was a bad mother. I kept a piece of Bunny's hair from her first cut but I ended up losing it b/c I never got around in making a formal baby book for her. I'm just not very good at stuff like that. I don't know... it's a bit odd to hold on to hair, I think. I hate cutting hair at home because I hate all the hairs all over the place and to keep it... It kind of grosses me out.

Well, I have Puppy's and I will just store it into his photo album. I wonder if I'll appreciate it when he's all grown up.

Well, I'm glad I gave him a haircut because this summer is starting out so hot and humid.

V-DAY

Yesterday, Hubs went and got a little procedure done in a sensitive area. I was anticipating him to be in a lot of pain but he's been pretty much pain free. He's hobbling around but he says it's a little uncomfortable but no pain. What a blessing. I was worried that I'd have have to take care of 3 kids and take care of a patient. I didn't realize how much he takes care of me because it seemed like a role reversal. I cooked dinner served him.. brought him ice... well I tended to his needs but after a couple hours, I think he felt was weirded out and couldn't take me serving him. I'm sure it's because I'm hobbling around as well trying to run up and down the stairs with a big belly. He felt bad. If I wasn't pregnant maybe he'd be milking it or maybe not. Times like this... I realize how blessed I am to have him.

This morning I was so prepared to wake up with the kids and tend to their every needs. But I woke up to Bunny and Lamb fighting and I realized that Bill got up with them and fed them breakfast and let me sleep in. Again, So blessed.

Bunny was very curious about the type of "surgery" her father went through. She was so worried and she was trying really hard to be a good nurse. It was so cute to see. We told her that it was not serious and that it's just very tiny cuts daddy will be left with. She asked where the cuts would be and we told her the truth and she said," EW!!!!!!!!!!! gross... that's so funny!" hahahaha she really is too funny.

While Hubs was undergoing his procedure, I couldn't help feeling a bit sad. I know that with four children, we are absolutely done having children. I guess, it's the finality of it. It's no difference than taking any other forms of birth control but I guess, I feel a bit odd about altering the body to prevent something that is a gift from God. Are we selfish? But then I know that this is the best course for us. We've thought and prayed about it for a long time and we know that this is the best for us. So really there is no reason to keep thinking about it because it is done.

Russian Roulette

So I have this dilemma...

Hub's nephew is getting married at the end of June at Virginia Beach. They asked the girls to be flower girls and of course, they are tickled with joy. However, I will be entering my 36th week. I will be considered full term and there is a possibility of going in to labor anytime after the 35 th week. I delivered bunny at 37th week and lamb at 38 th week. puppy was the child that didn't want to come out until my 40th week. The thing about giving birth is that it's so unpredictable.

I asked two doctors about the situation. One was adamantly saying that I should not go. (she really scared me) Then another was saying just see how I feel and if I'm up to traveling, she thinks it'll be okay. But I can't help being a bit nervous about it. Hubs said to take our medical records but I don't want to deliver anywhere but my hospital. I told him if I start going in to labor we are dropping everything and making the 5 hour trip up to Philly. He wasn't very keen on that idea. Who really delivers at their 36th week? That's still really early, right?

moms, who read me... when did you deliver and would you take the risk in going?

Bunny Turns 5

She's also graduate from Pre-K . She'll be starting up elementary school in the fall. I hope that I can be on top of all the homework and follow- up on memos and stuff. It was hard enough keeping up with stuff for her 2 1/2 hour a day pre school.

Bunny likes this boy, Garrett, at school. I've heard her talk about him through out the year but I didn't pay too much attention to it until I was able to observe her class. One time, when we were talking about marriage, she said that Garrett is a nice boy and that she's going to marry him. Of course, Hubs said she can't marry anyone. She was fine with that too. They were doing egg drops outside and all the kids were all gathered around. Garrett comes to school and I hear my Bunny scream, " GARRETT!" and she's hugging him and she was like all over him.

Well, after Bunny's graduation, Garrett's parents invited a few parents over for some treats and when I told bunny that we were going to Garrett's house she screamed so loud. She was so excited. then as we got out of the car in front of his house and we were walking to the front door. I saw another Bunny's classmates car. I said, "oh, bunny, your favorite friend Molly is here!" She stops walking and says, "why is she here?" She was sad... she wanted garrett all to herself. me and hubs started cracking up. Wow, Bunny's all possessive of Garrett. We told the mom because they know about the "thing" between the two of them and she goes... "molly was the same way" ah!! we had no idea there was this love triangle going on. we had a good laugh about it.

Swift Performance

Caught this on the net and I thought wow that was some performance from a young girl. Now I can't get the tune out of my head... had to buy the song via itunes. Taylor Swift is her name and I think she won best new female artist at the country awards. Quite deserving...

Korean Dramas

Over one month ago I was introduced to this site. It is for free where you can download and watch korean dramas. I've been a bit obsessed watching korean dramas. It is crazy. I just can't watch one episode and limit myself ... it's all there so I just start clicking the next episode and before I know it I'm staying up really late to watch these. Hubs would walk by and say, " you know you can't do this after the babies born, right?" AH!! I'm starting to love the pregnancy card. I'm only doing this because I'm pregnant...

When I mentioned this to my Women's group, there were many eager to know about this site and then there were many saying negative things about Korean dramas. Fills your head with false beliefs. I know that Korea is big on money and power. They have a false view on romantic love...

Well, I watched one with 20 episodes and it was soooooooooooooo good in the beginning and then it dragged and the ending was so blah. But because of my behavior no matter how bad it got ... I just have to watch how it ends. I have found that the site is not good for me. Soooooooo, I'm letting it go. Even though my korean has gotten so much better, I know that I can't afford to just sit around and watch korean videos. I'll just watch my movies as they come from netflix. hahahahah

Kiddies

One day, while Hubs was doing some yard work, the kids were sitting outside on a blanket.
Here Puppy catches sight of a lollipop. And he lunges for it.
Lamb moves forward trying to hide the lollipop from Puppy but Puppy can't take his eyes off the lollipop. he wants it.
He tries to lift lamb's head. I found this so funny.
lamb runs away and here Bunny is trying to keep him away from Lamb.
It's so hard to have all three children looking at the camera when the picture is taken.

Puppy Turns One!

Puppy turned one on Sunday. I can't believe how quickly his first year flew by. I feel like I've been pregnant for so long but yet his first year went by so quickly. It probably has to do with me getting pregnant soon after he was born. Well, we had a very low key celebration. We were deciding on having many people to celebrate with us via a DOL celebration either at our home or at a restaurant but it's hard when when my side of the family is not here and it would be impossible to make it and hubs family is Caucasian. It's a Korean tradition for a huge celebratory for a 1st birthday and we thought that since hubs side is busy with a wedding and graduation that we'd just keep it low key. It's funny, for Bunny (our first) we had a huge celebration at a korean restaurant and with Lamb we cut down on the guest list and had it at our house and Puppy just had us. He won't remember and with all the money and energy that goes out in planning a party, I was glad to have it low key. However Bunny was initially disappointed.

Me: Bunny, we are going to have Puppy's party today.
Bunny: oh, yeah! Who's coming?
Me: no one.. it's just us..
Bunny: Oh man! That's boring!
Me: what !? are you saying we're Boring?
Bunny: (thinking) no, I mean. Me and Lamb will be there, right?
Me: of Course
Bunny: then it'll be fun! (then she runs off)

Good save that girl. She never wants to hurt my feelings.

Bunny was excited to dress in the hanbok and take pictures with Puppy. Lamb fell in love with her hanbok. She kept saying how beautiful she was and twirled around. They both really love their brother. It's amazing how well they play all together. Puppy loves his sisters. He's always trying to copy them and just be around them. When they both go to school, Puppy would look over the house looking and calling for them. It's hard for me because he's always pointing at the door to go outside and look for them.

We did the dol jabi. He bee lined for the paint brush so an artist, it is.

Puppy is taking steps on his own constantly and he can walk across a large room unsteadily but he gets there. He'll be running soon and I'll have to run after him. oh!!! I hope that it won't be too soon.

Oh, do you like my Ghetto dol table? my mom was adamant that I take pictures with a Dol table set up. How do you do that ? Just pile fruit on the table... what... this was my attempt. Ghetto, no?

Screamer

So the latest form of communication that Puppy does is.... scream. Not any ordinary scream, it's the kind that pierces the ears and makes you cringe. I realize that he found it most effective to get our attention especially when he's competing for attention with the girls. It's so easy to ignore a baby when you have 2 talking girls in your face. So because it's so effective in getting our attention, he does it all the time. When we tell him no whenever he screams, he cries and screams. So we are trying to be attentive but he does it when he wants something and it's hard when we can't give it to him. How to deal.... hmmmm

Happy Mother's Day

This is a post, I've been writing but kept getting interrupted. Ever since, I got pregnant for the 4th time, hubs has really been spoiling me. There are some issues, I don't feel very comfortable sharing on the world wide web but it's been a tough time for us as well. Through God's grace, we are doing so well. We are connecting and we both have grown spiritually. As my belly grows, I have been really relying on him a whole lot. He tries to let me nap during the day and he'll take 3 kids all over town. He'll let me sleep in so that he'll drop off and even pick up the kids at school. He's really MR. Mom. He's coming home about his chats with the other moms. I laugh at the thought of him chatting it up with all these mothers. "They must think you are my sugar momma!"

So last week, he had to work overnights from Monday to Thursday. So he was no good to me during the day. I was miserable. I acted like a spoiled brat and when the stress got to much, I took it out on him. So he'd try really hard to stay up and help me so he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep. It was so messy.

I realized... how selfish I am. Well, spoiled... When Mother's Day came, he'd want to do special thing for me to show his appreciation but all I wanted to do was SLEEP. When I couldn't even get that, I was a bit of a sour puss.

I see some of my friends who husbands don't have a flexible schedule and work more than 60 hours a week and even travel and they don't miss a beat and can handle the home and children all alone. I keep telling myself that I'm feeling this way because I'm pregnant. But it is so hard to take over the home when hubs manages so well with out me. But I know he gets tired and I should pick it up on my end but I just get so overwhelmed and tired. When I do a little bit more, I so want to be recognized for it and when I don't, I get mean. Why is that? What is wrong with me?

Have I not learned anything from "the excellent wife"? Well, all I know is that I'm worried that when times gets really tough, I won't be able to suck it up and be diligent without complaining. I'm grateful for my hubs... he tries very hard. And I need to watch myself as not to break his spirits. Once I have my body back, I will need to really give back and truly deserve a nice Mother's Day.

It's A Girl!

It's seems this is the year for girls... We went to get an ultrasound today and it's a girl. 3d/4d is awesome. It's amazing how much you can see in the womb and more than just the skeleton. I can already tell she has hubs lips and maybe nose. The nose kept showing up blurry b/c the technician said there was something in front of it. Thanks to JL, I went to the same place she went and I was so happy with the ambiance and service. Now, I can get rid of the boy clothes...

Great Escape

Puppy loves the outdoors. He's always wanting to go outside. Poor kid... because of me I keep him captive.

Computer Geek

Puppy is obsessed with computers! How does he know... one hand on the mouse and the other on the keyboard?

Kindergarten Orientation

Bunny had her Kindergarten orientation. Her future elementary school held an orientation to give an overview of Kindergarten and to answer some questions parents may have and they gave a tour of the school. I am over all happy with the school's atmosphere. Only 1 child is going to go to Bunny's elementary school from her preschool. I wish Bunny knew more of the kids... many of our neighbors are sending their kids to Catholic School. I know, I have nothing to worry about. Bunny was the first in line while some kids were timid and scared and their parents had to join them when they took the kids to another room. I see the confidence in her that I never had that within myself. I hope in my insecurities, I can really cultivate her confidence and she'll have that even when she enters teenager-hood.

As I looked around at the parents, I just felt a little anxious. Will my child get along with their children? Will their children be nice to Bunny? I then wondered how important is it to develop relationships with other parents? I am a shy person at first and I may come off a little stand-offish but I am really a nice person, I think. I'm just not a very out going person at first. I read an article in Parent magazine about how a child may not be the cause of not being invited to playgroups but it may be the parent's. Parent's personality or unwillingness to make friends with other parents may be the reason for lack of invites.

There's always this fear that my children will become friends who may be a bad influence. I remember growing up every time I made a friend and I'd tell my mom, she'd always ask, "does she study hard?" I remember being really annoyed. As a mother, I realize the benefits of kids that have the discipline to get good grades and the attention parents give for children to do well. But it doesn't mean they won't get into trouble. I know. I don't want to be judgmental of others parenting skills because I know that I don't want to be judged. All that matters is that a parent loves their child and that was prevalent in the eyes of all the parents I saw today. That should be enough.

I remember a friend saying that her child always seemed to be attracted to troubled children, kids that act up and happen to have no self-control. She was frustrated with the bad habits her son would learn from his new troubled friend. Instead of telling her son not to play with the kid, she prayed how her son could show God's love to his friend. And she is determined to get to know the friend. So glad I have such open-minded friends that are wise.

I am going to lift up my anxious heart to God. I need to be prayerful and not think of different horrible scenarios. Why should I worry? It's a waste of time...

HUGE Pregnant Lady

Do I need to say more? Why can't I find flattering pregnancy clothes? What are my girls doing? I can't wait to be done with this pregnancy.

BOY OR GIRL?

So, I think Hubs and I are going to go to a 3d/4d imaging ultrasound center to determine the sex of our baby. I know, why not wait but... I really want to prepare for the baby... My mom won't be able to help me out and I have all these baby clothes in storage so I'd really like to get rid of either the boy or girl baby clothes. and just get the nursery all ready for the new baby. Also, I just can't wait. It was more my Hubs idea so, I'll just go along. I've been researching and I'm getting really excited for the 3d/4d imaging. I'll be able to see really see the baby. I found a center and I'm just waiting to talk to hubs about the different packages. They have a gender determination package which is the cheapest but no 3d imaging just a regular 2d ultrasound imaging. I need a logical voice so instead of booking for the most expensive package, I'll wait to talk to hubs about it.

Surprised Finale

I was browsing through the net and I found this clip. I didn't know that on American Idol Gives Back Special the AI contestant sang "Shout to the Lord" as their finale. They replaced My Jesus with My Shepherd in the beginning but it was really good. Was anyone surprised that they sang a Christian song? I was encouraged by it...

Full Room

The last couple of days the girls haven't been feeling well. Starting yesterday, they were spiking high fevers so we were giving them both Motrin and Tyelenol. I think Bunny got her very first ear infection. She's complaining about pain in her ear. And I'm hoping Lamb only has a virus. Friday night, Bunny comes in to our room in the middle of the night and she ended up sleeping on our floor and then Lamb comes down and wants to do the same. Yet again, last night they wake up in the middle of the night, Bunny first and then an hour later, we hear tumbling down the steps. Lamb with a high fever came to our room in the dark and fell down the last couple of steps. And she's screaming," pee, i have to go pee pee!" Poor girl. They slept on our floor. This morning, Bill said that since our kids all sleep with us, that we should down size to a one bedroom house. hahahah he can be so funny. NOT>

Before the girls were sick, Puppy's been sick. Well, I thought he was sick at first but I realized it could be because he's teething. His fever was always low-grade and he started salivating, drooling and soaking his shirts. I felt around his mouth and his molars are coming in, already. I never really experienced horrible teething from my girls but Puppy seemed like he is in such pain. He wouldn't sleep well and to get to sleep he's rolling around on our bed crying. I tried to console him but even when I hold him, he'd just whimper. It's getting better but he's really drooling and his eczema is acting up on his chest. It's very rashy.

So, I am exhausted from the week and today, I'm hoping to get some lazy time in.

Nuclear Power Plant

On our way home from an outlet shopping.

Two huge nuclear power plants with large clouds of smoke flowing out of the 2 stacks.

lamb: oooooo!! bolcanooooooooooo! (volcano)
puppy: no, lamb! they're not volcanoes... they're cloud making machines!!! ( so matter of factly)
lamb: ooooooh! cloud making machine...

hahahhahah

She's 3~!

My 2nd baby turned 3. She was more difficult than Bunny. She was very stubborn and she wanted to do what she wanted more than to please the parent. After the 11 th time telling her to stop drawing on the wall, she kept on drawing on the wall. I thought, oh, she's going to be trouble. She wasn't as affectionate as Bunny either. Lamb was precocious and spunky... But this past few months she really has changed. She's become such a parent pleaser. If she's doing something wrong, and we gently chastise her she'd break out in to tears. And she'll go, " yes, Mommy, I won't do it again.. I'm sorry, mommy!" I don't know if it's Bunny rubbing off on her but I'm really liking it. She has become extremely affectionate too. She'd randomly give hugs and kissses and when I come at her for a kiss or hug, she'll always let me. I love that her and emma get along so well and play so well together. I mean they'll have there fights but what siblings don't fight. I just can't believe she's already 3.

He's Curious!

My little boy is getting in to everything. I never had to really childproof... my girls were never interested in opening drawers, cabinets, or wander too far from where I am. My boy goes all over the house. He's climbing up and down the stairs. I am surprised that only at 10 months he learned going down the steps feet first on his tummy and he climbs down. We taught him once and he just knows. He'll see the edge of the stairs and he'll lie on his tummy and turn his feet towards the stairs and back up. Sometimes because he's looking back at the stairs his body we'll point sideways and he'll back up into the walls. It's so cute to see. Bunny was always too scared to even venture the stairs and Lamb after a couple of falls trying to step down, she pretty much gave up and never really went down the stairs. She'd call me if she wanted to go down the stairs.

So I'm busy tending to the girls and I realize that Jonah went up stairs. I'm calling him and I go into our computer room and there he managed to grab a bag of opened Cheetos on the desk and he dumped them and started eating them.

I can't believe he's turning one already. Has it been that long? It feels like it flew by but then I feel like I've been pregnant forever... Come to think of it I have been pregnant for a long time... hahahahah Since 2002

Faith

I've been loving time with the women at my church. It's a range of ages but we all have one goal in mind and that is to be holy. The last 6 1/2 months, we've been reading "the excellent wife" by Martha Peace and it's been a tough book to swallow but I see great growth in our women. We are now done but I feel like we've been on this roller coaster of a ride together. They have helped me in my darkest times and I am so thankful God has blessed me with such a group.

I loved one thing a sister shared that she learned from our Pastor during "friday night lights" ( teachings for discipleship). The pastor asked what God's face looked like when we sin. Many people drew a sad or angry face. But he reminded us that God delights in us always because of what Christ did for us. He sees Christ in us. Christ took away our sins. So when God sees us, he sees Christ in us. It really moved me. Reminding me about Fearing the Lord. Not to be scared in disappointing or of punishment but that we need to revere God... we need to desire to please Him.

I've been getting big... well for some my belly seems tiny but I wish I could be those pregnant ladies that only have a belly and everywhere else is normal. I look like this big fat blob. I know it shouldn't matter. But it's so hard not to let it affect how I feel. Need to let it go...

absent minded ness

We had a very blessed Easter. Our church Children's ministry performed a skit based off of high school musical and we changed it to Sunday School Musical. It was fun working with the kids and they seemed to really enjoy it. Me and hubs had a little scare. We were practicing before service at a house right across from our church. The kids lined up and walked over. I didn't go with the group and I went through a different entrance because I had to use the bathroom.

I went and sat with hubs and saw the group of kids all sitting in the front. When we were 5 minutes in to the skit and it was time for Bunny's line, I realized she wasn't there. I looked at hubs and he darted out to look for Bunny. She was missing. Hubs found her in the church nursery . She was left outside and when a man found her crying, he took her to the nursery. She made it for the last song of the skit and she was crying on her way on stage. She was hyperventilating. Poor kid. I don't know how she got left behind. We were so scared. She was sad she wasn't able to say her line but Bunny got to say her line when we performed our skit again at a nursing home after service.

I have been so absent-minded or just preoccupied that I just don't seem to pay attention. Yesterday, I was running a bath for the girls and while the kids were undressing, I thought I'd just look for their spring cardigans in some totes. The kids were running around in the hall and then Bunny comes running in and she said that "puppy fell in". I rush towards the bathroom and I see Puppy crawling in to the bedroom with a big red mark on his forehead drenched from head to belly. His eyes were teary eyed and he was gulping air like he just swallowed a lot of water. I realized he fell in the water head first and I grabbed him and just held him while Bunny told me what happened. Puppy fell in the water and Bunny ran to him and lifted him out and carried him out of the bathroom. She was so scared and her flight reflex saved Puppy. Hubs ran up from the commotion and I told him what happened and he was so angry. He didnt' yell at me but I know he wanted to. I heard tragic stories of babies drowning from buckets of water, bath tub filled with water, and pools. I didn't think it could have happened to me. I am so grateful that bunny saw it and her reflex was to fish him out and not to come get me.
I felt so horrible and I learned my lesson. Never again, will I do that. I will never walk away from a bath tub filled with water. NEVER

So today, Hubs was telling me that he's worried because I am either going to kill or lose a child during this pregnancy. I know he was kidding but I need to really pay attention to detail. With each pregnancy, I feel like I'm just not with it and it just gets worse with each one.

Damaged

Do, do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound tell me,
Are, are, are you, are you patient, understanding,
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hold on my heart and I
You try to gain my trust, [trust] talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show us something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again

Damaged, Damaged, Damaged, Damaged
I thought that I should let you know, that my heart is
Damaged, damaged, so damaged, so damaged

Horton Hears A Who

Hubby and I have been going through some stressful times and unfortunately, it has effected Bunny. It's been a lot better and I thought that it would be nice if I took her out for some "mommy and me" time. I told her that I was going to take her to see 'Horton Hears a Who' at the movie theaters. She was so excited. Over a year ago, it was her favorite bedtime story but when I asked her about the book, she had no recollection of it. She was excited that she was going to have mommy all to herself. I took Lamb with me to pick up Bunny and on our way home, Bunny was letting Lamb know that we were going to go on a date. Lamb had no clue what Bunny was jabbering on and translated it as, "mommy, Bunny said that I can't go home... ah!!" and broke out in to tears. I comforted her that that wasn't the case. Lamb was upset that we were going to the movies and she was not but I bribed her by saying that I'd bring home an icee for her. Then she was fine.

It was a great time and Bunny had a smile from ear to ear the whole time. While we were out, she kept asking "are we still on a date, mommy?" Then at home, I was making dinner and she comes up and she give me a hug and she asks," mommy, are we still on a date?" I laughed and told her now that we are home, our date day is over but we'll have many more. She runs off hooting and hollering all happy. I hope she'll always be that excited to hang out with me.

The movie was great. Check out my review.

I've been watching Making the Band 4 Season 2. It's another mtv reality show following 3 of Diddy's music creations... Danity Kane, Day 26 and Donnie... girl group, male group, and a male solo. I was a fan of the season of finding the female superstar group. Well, any way... One of the males were acting a bit diva-ish or let say a bit catty... And Diddy wanted to squash that kind of behavior and called it "bitchass-ness".. There is no room for "bitchass-ness"! Bitchass-ness will ruin the group ... yada yada I found the word really funny. I'd like to use the word because I've been having some bitchass-ness in me lately. hahahaha So random but thought I'd share...

today, Lindsay Price was on rachel ray. I remember her in the 80's doing a toys rus commercial and was pleasantly surprised to see an asian looking gal on tv. Thus, opening my dreams for a career in theater. I quickly forgot about her but I still had a dream to be an actress/director/producer ... something to do with drama. As many korean parents, they squashed my dream every time I brought it up. The dream has gone but not forgotten... I saw Price and she's really cute and she's now in the show 'Lipstick Jungle' on NBC. It got picked up so I'm assuming it's doing well. Price is starring with Kim raver (24) and Brooke Shields. She's cute. I was surprised when she told rachel ray that her mother is korean. Price is half korean. Not only was she korean, but she's my age.

Growing up how my parents would continue to tell me that there would be no asian faces in the entertainment industry. How impossible it would be because America would never be open to Asians in the industry.

Now, if they see, Price, sandra Oh, and YunJin Kim (lost). Many more... I'm sure the road to their success was long and hard but at least they went for it.

AH!! But I know that I am where I should be and I am content just watching movies and admiring or complaining what I see. :)

I'm feeling so icky... so very icky. I've reached the weight that I weighed when i delivered Jonah about 10 months ago. I do feel big. Not only do I feel big but I feel unhealthy. I'm still in denial that I'm even pregnant.

I went for my ultrasound on Wednesday. AGAIN, they can't see what I'm having. I have a feeling that I'm having a girl but I had that same feeling with Jonah. So... I'll be surprised once again. It's nice when that time comes but just getting there is the problem. I am so impatient.

I have a special bond with my boy. He is so sweet and he is such a momma's boy. He's reaching and standing like a pro. He's crawling like a pro. He'll wave hi and bi with his arms. He'll play peek a boo. He loves hitting and smacking Jadyn for some reason. He laughs and smiles at Emma all the time. I love him so much. I'm kind of hoping that he'll be my one and only boy but if this one is a boy, it may be a good thing for Jonah.

We spent 5 days in Orlando, Florida at Disney World. We stayed at the Animal kingdom. The girls loved it. They've been looking forward to the trip and we'd mark off each day on the calender until the day we left. The first day, we entered Magic Kingdom without any plan and we felt so out of it. Also, I lost Lamb's luvie. Her beloved comfy cozy lamb. Lamb had it on her at the hotel during check in and we went up to our room and I realized she didn't have it. I asked her where her lamb is and she said "Oh, no... I left on the plane" I told her she didn't. So hubby ran down to the lobby looking all over for it. He couldn't find it anywhere. We thought we were going to have a long night but she was good. They slept in bunk beds for the first time. They enjoyed it. Bunny kept saying that "we have the best hotel room ever." The hotel found Lamb's Luvie and returned it. Lamb was so happy. She kept hugging and kissing the lamb and saying,"I'm so hap-pey!"

The rest of the days we mapped out a plan for the day so it went smoother and the girls got to go on rides. They saw characters and got their autographs. It was great. On our 2nd night, we were at epcot and got stuck in a rainstorm. We tried to wait it out but the girls were tired and Puppy was exhausted. So we got ponchos for everyone and ran through epcot to the entrance in pouring rain. We were soaked through except for Puppy. We did our best to shield him from the ran and he was asleep through most of the ordeal.

Lamb's not a very affectionate person but all through out the trip she had a smile from ear to ear and she'd tell me and hubby that she loved us and showered us with kisses. She'd pucker up and go, "I'm so happy, KISS." She is so funny.

It was a fun trip and it was nice to get away from everyday life. It's been tough the last couple of months and it was a good time for our family.