This is a post, I've been writing but kept getting interrupted. Ever since, I got pregnant for the 4th time, hubs has really been spoiling me. There are some issues, I don't feel very comfortable sharing on the world wide web but it's been a tough time for us as well. Through God's grace, we are doing so well. We are connecting and we both have grown spiritually. As my belly grows, I have been really relying on him a whole lot. He tries to let me nap during the day and he'll take 3 kids all over town. He'll let me sleep in so that he'll drop off and even pick up the kids at school. He's really MR. Mom. He's coming home about his chats with the other moms. I laugh at the thought of him chatting it up with all these mothers. "They must think you are my sugar momma!"
So last week, he had to work overnights from Monday to Thursday. So he was no good to me during the day. I was miserable. I acted like a spoiled brat and when the stress got to much, I took it out on him. So he'd try really hard to stay up and help me so he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep. It was so messy.
I realized... how selfish I am. Well, spoiled... When Mother's Day came, he'd want to do special thing for me to show his appreciation but all I wanted to do was SLEEP. When I couldn't even get that, I was a bit of a sour puss.
I see some of my friends who husbands don't have a flexible schedule and work more than 60 hours a week and even travel and they don't miss a beat and can handle the home and children all alone. I keep telling myself that I'm feeling this way because I'm pregnant. But it is so hard to take over the home when hubs manages so well with out me. But I know he gets tired and I should pick it up on my end but I just get so overwhelmed and tired. When I do a little bit more, I so want to be recognized for it and when I don't, I get mean. Why is that? What is wrong with me?
Have I not learned anything from "the excellent wife"? Well, all I know is that I'm worried that when times gets really tough, I won't be able to suck it up and be diligent without complaining. I'm grateful for my hubs... he tries very hard. And I need to watch myself as not to break his spirits. Once I have my body back, I will need to really give back and truly deserve a nice Mother's Day.
2 comments:
oh, i hear you! and i only have 2 kid! i get so crabby sometimes and then when hubs tries to do something nice, i'm too p.o'd to appreciate it.
you guys really have a lot going on and your hands full!
i feel sheepish saying, "well, i only have one, and i feel the same way!" yeah, c works close to 80 hours a week, and i still complain... you would never know that there's a stay-at-home-mom at our house, by the way it looks...
i'm so thankful that B is so good with the kids and has been gracious to you during this difficult time. it's great that you are recognizing this and also being thankful for his help. i don't even do that most of the time...
i guess we'll have to think of something special to do for their father's coming up, eh? :)
A, i'm praying for you. i can't imagine how physically tiring you must be right now... ((hugs))
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