Drug-free Childbirth

I must document my very first drug-free natural birth before the experience leaves me. I had volunteered willingly to receiving an epidural during all my previous child births and never considered going all natural. However the last time I gave birth, I had a very bad experience with the epidural. The bee sting like prick wasn't so bee sting like and icy cold liquid constantly flowed down my spine and my back ached and then my blood pressure dropped and I was nauseas and throwing up. Then for the days following I had these phantom pains in my back. I comforted myself saying that I would not have to go through that again. Then I got pregnant AGAIN. As I approached my due date, I was asking around other mothers and many of them did not receive the epidural, they went all natural. After talking to these women, I felt like "you know, I can do that too..." I thought I'll go as far as I can and if it's unbearable, I'll ask for Nubain (to take the edge off) and if that didn't work I'll go with the epidural.

I was so use to being bed ridden from the beginning b/c once you receive the epidural you are tied to your bed. I was able to walk around or sit in the rocking chair. I didn't have an iv in me so I was free to toss and turn in bed. Then the contractions were getting more intense and longer and after they broke my water. The pain was intense. Hubs was an awesome coach, he helped me blow through each contraction. I was able to squeeze his hand, arm, leg, stomach, and face when I needed to transfer my tension from each contraction. And once I reached 7 cm, I started screaming, give me the drugs. Then I heard the nurse say... "sorry , it's too late!" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now it was constant pain... knives twisting and turning in my stomach. I screamed, I cried... in midst of my arms flailing , I slapped Hubs a couple times. I was trying to pull and push anything I could. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I kept saying how stupid I was for not going with the epidural. Stupid... Stupid... Oh, and the pushing was excruciating. Thank goodness that part was short but OMG... the pain. Then once the baby is out... nothing. No pain.... Contractions stop and I see this beautiful beautiful baby. But one split second of a split second, I was angry at her... that she inflicted this enormous pain but then it melted away to love... Weird how your emotions are such a roller coaster. It was work... a lot of work. I was left with a sense of accomplishment. I guess, the feeling you'd feel running a marathon. Painful during but once you reach the finish line, you feel so great.

In retrospect... It was worth it of course but I don't know if I'd do it again. I would go with the epidural and consider it a blessing from God that it's available. Well, there will never be a next time. People were saying that I look the best after labor with this one which is weird because I felt like I got run over by a truck.

Recovery has been going well so far. I've been able to just relax with Frog but our household is a bit crazy. Also, my church has been a great great help, too. They are bringing over food and offering babysitting. I feel so blessed. Also, Hubs family has been a great help as well. They took Em, Ja, and Jon to the shore for a couple of days.

Frog had to be readmitted to the hospital because she had sever jaundice. She went under photo therapy for 24 hours. She's all better now. It was so cute... it looked like she was tanning in a tanning bed. They even gave her these shades to cover her eyes.

Now just hoping for a fast recovery for me...