I Surrender

I realized this past week that I've been so blinded and so bitter. I feel like I've been walking in the darkness for the last 10 years and suddenly, just now, my heart has opened up to the truth and now I can see so clearly. It only took a half attempt to seek the truth. I started going to my church's women's bible study group this past summer. I've learned so much and the opportunity to get together with these amazing women has been such a blessing.

I thought that just believing in God was enough but to trust in Him is something I couldn't do. I am so thankful that I didn't leave GCF like I planned. He really did send our way a couple with such strong vision and such passion. I am absolutely in love with the pastor's wife. I look at her and I am in awe of her and she is so wise and I, at first, thought she was no one out of the ordinary. However, the more I spend time with her, she really is an amazing woman. Even with my non-chalant behavior and even in my skeptism, she never waivered and she has so much love for the Lord and even me. I am so humbled.

I am so tired of being skeptical and I'm tired of being lukewarm. I'm ready to be moved and I'm ready to take a leap of faith and to trust in Him because I can see so clearly now.